When you’ve been in a relationship for years, it’s all too easy to grow comfortable and slip into a sexual rut. The problem with comfortable is it oftentimes leads to boring ― and no couple should settle for boring sex.
To help you bring excitement back to your sex life, I asked some friends I know have great sex lifes to share their best tips for couples in long-term relationships. See what they had to say below
1. Take the lead.
Be honest with yourself: Who tends to initiate sex more often, you or your partner? If you’re the less sexually assertive partner, flip the script and take the lead on getting things started tonight.
“Change things up: Don’t allow yourself to dance the familiar and instead choose the steps you have yet to take for a spin,” . “Do you always do things in a certain order, in a certain way? Well, forget all of that. Let go, let loose and let yourselves be free, new and unfettered again.”
2. Make a sex date once a week.
You never thought you and your partner would become one of those couples that has to schedule in sex. But the reality is, hot, spontaneous sex doesn’t always happen on the regular for long-term couples, If you’re more inclined to get busy Saturday afternoon, when you’re well-rested and relaxed, more power to you for acknowledging it.
“With a sex date on the calendar, you are more likely to plan out what you can do to make it fun, different and exciting,” “You can be as spontaneous and impulsive as you want ― but sometimes you have to plan it.”
3. Talk about what turns you on now.
At this point, you know how to turn your partner on ― or at least you think you do. Chances are, the sex script you’ve been using to get your partner off for years needs some updating.
“The best way to put an end to boring sex is to have a really honest, detailed conversation about what turns you on with instructions, examples and a PowerPoint ― just kidding about the PowerPoint.
Approach the conversation without judgement and be very explicit about what you want.
“Don’t just say, ‘I need you to be more passionate,’ show your S.O. exactly what being more passionate would look like by doing it to them,” .
This approach means you’ll have to get over the idea that your partner should “just know” what you want.
“That’s a horrible myth that gets in the way of steamy, hot sex often. Click here
4. Take intercourse off the menu for a while.
Sex is about more than just intercourse, To revive your sex life, take a one- or two-month break from intercourse.
“In the interim, commit to getting naked and touching one another more frequently. Explore full body contact, your hands and mouths, erotic talk and all the other ways you can pleasure one another,” try some new sex toys and have some fun with them. “You may just discover a new favorite path to arousal.”
5. Have vacation sex ― or staycation sex.
There’s nothing better than a vacation ― except maybe vacation sex. If you can’t financially swing a weekend getaway, turn your bedroom into a little escape by sprucing it up a bit.
“Create something new that will inspire you to play just like when your surroundings are fresh and foreign,” “Clear the clutter. Splurge on new sheets. Pick up some fresh flowers. Drown out the outside world with music that puts you both in the mood. Switch out your bulbs to create a more inviting lighting design ― get some really sexy lingerie, or have some fun with a sexy maid outfit , what ever it takes.
